(Editor’s note: I wrote this shortly after the March presentation of yet another Lehigh Valley rail plan. Since then, the plan remains unfunded and incomplete, and down from maybe three trains in 10 to 12 years to maybe one train in 15 years. It’s just as fanciful now as it was then, unless somebody shows up with a billion-dollar check.)
Ex-commuter’s view of regional train : Magical thinking, metro link, or Island of Sodor?
Press conferences tend to be mundane affairs, but the presentation Wednesday (March 27) of potential rail service from the Lehigh Valley had me jumping out of my seat.
Not with excitement. With amazement, and not in a good way.
The billion-dollar project will require tens of millions of dollars in annual subsidies, will be slower to reach New York, Philadelphia and Reading than current options, and may be rolling along when I am 77 years old.
Yeehah!
Now, it is not all about me, of course, but I do know what commuters — the core potential ridership — want. They want speed. Between getting to a station, traveling, and getting to their job, they spend close to five hours just getting to work and back. Every minute counts.
Some take a bus, some drive all the way in or drive to a train station in New Jersey. There are multiple strategies.
I commuted to New York City for years. Nobody doing that wants to spend another hour in transit for the pleasure of riding something more like an NJ Transit train than a James Bond-style dining car as seen in Daniel Craig’s “Casino Royale.”
Commuters are not the people with a “gosh, I’d like to take a train” attitude. They evaluate trips by the minute. Their livelihood and home life depend on it. Everything is on the margin when you spend hours daily getting to and from work.
Saying the word “trains” brings about “magical thinking.” Beware of magical thinking.
Focusing on New York — the city I commuted to for years — consider the potential 2.5-hour time on a train, not counting time to the station and to the workplace. That will add an hour to daily commutes. That is not progress.
I used to take buses around 4 a.m. that would arrive at the Port Authority Bus Terminal before 6 a.m. Yes, there were delays because of road problems or backups at the Lincoln Tunnel, but they were relatively rare. I also got stuck sometimes driving in via I78 and the New Jersey Turnpike.
There are also delays with trains. I have taken trains in the U.S., Canada and in Europe. Sometimes they stop — particularly in the swamps of New Jersey — and the announcer says there is a delay because a priority train is passing through, or there is a signal issue, or they just stop and nobody says anything.
Back to Wednesday, after consultant WSP made its presentation, there was the usual “thank you” round from the people with titles before their name and nameplates at their seats.
This is a staple of press conferences. They thank other people for doing their jobs, and sometimes for just being themselves. That is nice.
Nobody thanked me, but I am used to that. With more than 100 people listening online, that would not have been a good use of time.
It was during this round-robin of gratitude that my thoughts wandered far, far away, to the Island of Sodor, home of Thomas the Tank Engine. Even in that mythical land, the cheeky trains were constantly squabbling over something. The tension between engines Gordon and Duck was palpable.
Now, let us imagine something almost as fanciful: an amiable Lehigh Valley train coalition involving the U.S. government, the states of Pennsylvania and New Jersey, various regulators and a few dozen municipalities. Add in a smattering of public and private train companies agreeing to give up access to their tracks. That and lots and lots of money, indefinitely, because passenger rail does not turn a profit.
This makes the angst Thomas and Friends suffered in the “A Cow on the Line” episode seem downright trivial.
Anyway, after the “thank you, thank you” session ended, I pointed out that the times presented were not competitive. Nobody disagreed, and I was told a study of potential ridership would be needed.
A good idea, eh?
Then magical thinking abounded, along the lines of other public meetings, where residents seek to solve the problems of the world — or in this case, the U.S. transit system — right here in the Lehigh Valley.
Here is a summary of some of questions and statements made after the presentation and online.
“Why not an electric train?” — No. “And wouldn’t it be nice?” as the Beach Boys sang, but no. The Lehigh Valley train would use other railroads’ lines that are set up for diesel engines. It would not have control over those tracks, and at best would be granted use in return for something. Something like lots of money.
“The U.S. needs high-speed rail.” — Sure. Now call me cynical, but I do not think the first bullet train in America is going to depart from Allentown, Pennsylvania.
If I am wrong, I promise to dress up like Sir Topham Hatt from Thomas and Friends and greet the first passengers. That is, if I am still around and still mobile after the 10, 12, or however many years this takes.
“We need the kind of trains they have in Europe.” — That ship has sailed, or that bird has flown, or that train left the station decades ago. Pick your expression. The European train system is something they have over us.
We are not going to get the network of passenger trains some of Europe has. Also, may I point out that their trains are comfortable but utilitarian. The myth of a dapper fellow in a livery outfit bringing out a tray of hors d-oeuvres is just that, a myth, except on tourist trains that serve tea.
“Is this the time to talk about potential economic development from a potential train route that will potentially start by 2040?” Not unless you have all the time in the world to talk. I don’t, but some people do. They are typically on the public payroll.
So get real. If the Lehigh Valley is lucky, it might get something like NJ Transit. I have ridden on NJ Transit hundreds of times, and although hating the transportation network is the state pastime of New Jersey, I think highly of it.
The train staff is always helpful, and when I get on early the cars are usually clean and quiet and roughly on time. On a weekend, I can leave my home in Bethlehem and be in Manhattan in about 1 hour and 40 minutes, from my door to Secaucus Junction to Penn Station.
When coming back, it may be different. After a game it can be crowded and rowdy, and after Santacon (the annual get-drunk-and-dress-up-for Christmas celebration), just be happy if nobody in the car vomits.
Above all, remember that transportation is supposed to get you somewhere, not be a party on wheels.
Let me note, have a little respect for your neighbors who commute to the Big City. They are not causing inflation and making homes more costly. There are lots of high-income people in the region. Few of them commute far. Most work at big local companies or non-profit groups, in professional offices, some own businesses and others just plain work hard. They are to be commended, not made into scapegoats.
“For those who take the bus, I salute you,” to warp a line from AC/DC. I really do. I traveled in with financial types, building-trades workers and all kinds. All great people.
There are no slackers on a 4 a.m. bus.
Commuting is not easy, but they do it for themselves and their families. It can be an adventure, and probably every commuter has stories about their routine.
For example, there was the time I was rounding a corner at Rockefeller Center around 6 a.m. and almost head-butted a camel.
Camels are not native to Manhattan Island. It turned out the beast was there for a show and got a bit ahead of the trainer who was taking it out for some early exercise. I started to curse profusely before realizing the situation was kind of funny. I had a nice brief chat (with the trainer not the camel) and moved on.
Running into a camel in midtown? That proves anything can happen, and maybe the Lehigh Valley can get train service.
If it does, it will not be because of magical thinking, or real or imagined experiences on trains through the Lake Country or the Riviera, or hours of stream-of-thought chat.
There are some very dedicated people locally working on this project. It is not their fault that we have no train service. That die was cast years ago, so do not blame them for the local or national transportation system. Work with them or just listen.
On the other hand, talking about rail service is a road we have been down before and the current outline is vague. It does not say where stations would be, and nobody has asked the other railroads if they will play along.
Get real. Real money and real time is being spent on this.
Ask real questions. Demand real answers. Contribute in a realistic way.
This is just my conjecture, but I think this is the last shot at rail service. If we miss this train, we will not hear the whistle blow for 500 miles.
We will not hear anything.
Get real. Get moving, or we will have yet one more study binder gathering dust on the shelf.
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