School Days Have Begun Again, and Today’s Vocabulary Words Are Hornswoggled, Boondoggle and Bamboozled

–Jeff Ward, editor, Lehigh Valley News Briefs

“School days, school days, dear old golden rule days” are here again.

I’m doing my part with three vocabulary words, the kind favored by Mark Twain. The origins of words are not easy to determine, but I find these three words to be, like Twain, “archetypically American,” as the intellectuals like to say. That is, they are really, really American.

First, we have “hornswoggle,” which means, getting something over somebody. For example, telling somebody (taxpayers) their money will go toward public television (PBS 39) and radio, then making a midstream turn and going into public digital media.

Then, there is “boondoggle,” meaning an activity that people know is a waste of time and money, but it goes ahead anyway. Boondoggle may have been the name of a scouting newspaper.

As for boondoggles, the Lehigh Valley’s “Committee to Talk About Trains” may be headed that way. The group seeks $450,000 to talk about trains, including one to Reading (why?)

I suggest the likelihood of federal funding be explored fully before people start talking about the 3:15 to Womelsdorf, or the tea train to Catasauqua.

Yet there are people who are paid to talk, and we must accommodate them!

Lastly, “bamboozled,” a strategic word. It means to fool or cheat someone, and it came in very handy about 30 years ago.

I was attending a meeting about my small division of a small business, and the meeting topic veered from the agenda to whether my little division should even exist.

The meeting was going against me, so I interjected, “This isn’t what we supposed to be talking about. I feel bamboozled.”

There was a moment of silence (not the respectful kind) and then some nervous laughs, and a few people looked at me quizzically (they had never read Twain’s “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County” or “Roughing It.”)

Anyway, the point is, at that point the meeting started to dissolve. People either couldn’t keep a straight face or they wanted to put as much distance between themselves and me as possible.

A bad meeting turned into a farce. Mission accomplished!

Please note the words above. There will be a quiz.

Good day.